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saintedsinner-=is watching the weather outside the window, his face with an incredulous expression on it.=-
No freaking way...
Is that Juice?!
What the hell, is it going to start raining food animals, now? Suppose I 'll have to wait till it slows up before I can go tag her...
No freaking way...
Is that Juice?!
What the hell, is it going to start raining food animals, now? Suppose I 'll have to wait till it slows up before I can go tag her...
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Date: 2009-12-11 09:58 pm (UTC)-=These are the gears turning in Ed's head about litters of calves bouncing around.=-
Noooooooooo....
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Date: 2009-12-11 10:03 pm (UTC)You'd be licked to death.
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Date: 2009-12-12 07:13 pm (UTC)Nothing. I just second-guessed myself there.
[Yes, Ed, he just second-guessed himself around YOU. Problem.]
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Date: 2009-12-12 07:17 pm (UTC)-=big problem=-
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Date: 2009-12-12 07:44 pm (UTC)I don't know. I'm still getting used to this.
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Date: 2009-12-12 07:51 pm (UTC)Did the guy before me really treat you that badly?
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-12 08:06 pm (UTC)He was one of the only people I never had to worry about that with.
...
I guess, I wonder, sometimes. When I talk to you. "Am I doing it right?" ... and then I worry.
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-12 08:08 pm (UTC)Al... there's no standard you have to hold up to. At least not with me. You're my brother.
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-12 08:30 pm (UTC)I just don't want...
... it to be different.
[Oshit tears. He scrubs the away, almost frustrated with himself over them.]
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-12 08:35 pm (UTC)[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-12 09:06 pm (UTC)I'm... different. I've been here a long time, and... I've changed a lot. I'm not who you remember me being. I wouldn't be, even if we had all the same memories.
I-I mean, I just... I just gave our mother a gun. I made that decision. A year ago, I'd have been horrified with myself for even thinking of it. Now, I made that decision without even consulting you. Because while I've been here, you've been doing other things... I had to make those decisions by myself because you were fading, and you weren't here to make them, or even give input half the time.
I-I know it's not my fault, that I've had to grow up, but... when you grow, things change, don't they?
But not us. We never changed.
And now I'm afraid that you'll... I don't know, decide that you just don't like the person I've become. That I'll say or do something wrong, like I did with the gun and not telling you about it, and...
[Really, he's afraid of abandonment. ... even from Ed. And it shows. He's had it happen too many times.]
Your love's unconditional, right? But because of this place, I'm afraid anyway... that you'll decide I'm just not what you wanted.
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-12 09:21 pm (UTC)-=sighs softly, sucking on the inside of his lip.=-
You're right, everything changes. But the core principles... they don't have to change. You're still my little brother, Al. And you're not that much different.
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-13 02:32 am (UTC)Sorry, it's just... I hate this place sometimes.
[A tiny smile.]
If I'm ever dumb like this again, just... kick me.
[Private//Unhackable]
Date: 2009-12-13 02:36 am (UTC)[Private//Unhackable]
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